An Act of Barbarism
There’s a common practice in America I find barbaric and should be outlawed. I don’t mean privatized prisons or our lack of universal healthcare both of which I share the same sentiment. I’m not talking about capital punishment the latter of which I have mixed feelings. I’m not referring to burning fossil fuels, burying waste in landfills, or mass consumption which I find repulsive. I’m speaking of circumcision. It’s beyond me why this is still a topic of debate. Unsurprisingly, most people I’ve known who condone this vile act other than Jews are second wave feminists. Thus, I call them out on their hypocrisy. If they’re going to get preachy about abortion and women’s rights, the least they can do is respect those of males. What makes you think I like some ninny femsplaining to me what she thinks is best for my genitals if she doesn’t like guys mansplaining to her what’s good for her uterus? America is one of the few developed countries left that advocates this debauchery.
Don’t Believe the Hype
The liberal media loves preaching how horrible date rape is and going on diatribes regarding rape culture, campus rape, and statutory rape. They like shaming us about consent trying to convince us there’s a sexual assailant on every street corner. They had a field day regarding the child abuse scandal with the Catholic church and whatnot. Nobody on the left held any punches against Jeffrey Epstein or Donald Trump about the child sex trafficking. They only defended Bill Clinton saying he was just a passenger on the plain. What about those infant boys? Did they get a say in whether or not they were snipped? Why has that never dominated the headlines? I remember seeing an expose about female genital mutilation in Egypt when I was 13. Little boys have their foreskin cut, and nobody panics. Adults remove female infant clitorises, and everyone goes ballistic. My mother, who had me cut when I was a baby, and I have had heated debates over this. She tried arguing they use glass and rusty metal to do the procedure on girls. What makes her or anybody else think they don’t do the same to boys?
To Cut or Not to Cut
She’s not the only one. Her generation was sold the idea that it was more hygienic and the right thing to do. Every myth about male infant circumcision preventing urinary tract infections and STD’s has been debunked. Sadly, there’s idiots out there who still believe them just as there are those convinced vaccines cause autism despite the overwhelming evidence disproving that. Little do they know, the doctors who sold them that hogwash were receiving massive kickbacks from the hospital to perform circumcisions. Of course they’re going to say that when there’s some financial gain for them. I wouldn’t be surprised if one guilt-shamed my mother into having me cut. If those were true, Africa and the Middle East wouldn’t have higher rates of AIDS and other urological ailments. My mother acknowledges this, but she tried using a strawman argument stating women with circumcised partners have lower rates of cervical cancer. That’s what pap smears and HPV vaccines are for, my dear readers. That’s why they have condoms, IUD’s, diaphragms, and such. Women who sleep around and have multiple partners are at higher risk, but I don’t see anyone shaming them into monogamy. No, now we encourage Western women to brag about it and have annual SlutWalks. For every point the advocates use, I have a counterpoint to debunk it. If preaching abstinence-only is ineffective towards teenagers with raging hormones, I’d say it’s a safe bet trying to assure me circumcision is benevolent is fruitless.
It Israeli Not Necessary
Yes, I know most Jewish men are circumcised. Most Jewish men also don’t practice kosher or wear yarmulkes. I was an anthropology minor in college. Some Jewish woman tried claiming the Torah requires it. I’ll tell you what, lady. When every Jewish man practices kosher, has an unshorn beard, wears all black, and dons a yarmulke or black hat, then you can get back to me. When Israel discontinues its aggression towards Palestine and stops playing the holocaust card to justify the means, then we can discuss halakha. Do you really want me to go there? Mel Gibson wasn’t off the mark during his drunken stupor. I’m not condoning his behavior or saying he wasn’t out of line, but his statement wasn’t inaccurate. More than half of the turmoil in the Middle East is because of Israel. The United States government throws $10 billion a year towards Israel who has universal healthcare and free post-secondary education. Meanwhile, we can’t afford to feed the poor, shelter the homeless, or provide medicare, but that’s another story. The Torah also forbids homosexuality. Man-on-man relations are subjectable to death. There have been rabbis in Israel wanting to impose capital punishment for that, yet Tel Aviv has one of the largest gay populations in the world. I’ll bet that Jewish lady didn’t think I knew that, either. Nice try, woman, but it won’t stick. I don’t place much credence into religious law.
It Israeli That Simple
The reason nobody discusses how inhumane male circumcision is or all the heinous things caused by Israel is because Jews own most of the American media. Anyone who speaks up about these gets branded as anti-Semitic. That explains why Mel Gibson was Hollywood blacklisted. If the Jews have enough brain cells to speak English, Hebrew, and Yiddish fluently; practice kosher, study economics, handle finances, manage their money, make investments, run petty scams and ponzi schemes, hide their shady business practices, avoid detection by the IRS and Better Business Bureau, write screenplays, produce and direct movies; win Pulitzer Prizes, Nobel Prizes, and Academy Awards; plan bar and bat mitzvahs, train the Mossad, hunt down war criminals, conceal their own war crimes, invent krav maga (the world’s deadliest martial art) and the uzi, construct synagogues, build scud missiles and laser-guided keyboards, live autonomously, and light up menorahs during Hanukkah, there’s no reason they shouldn’t know how to wash out their schmeckels. That’s as easy as spinning a dreidel. They’re not animals though they sure act like it by the way they treat the Palestinians. I presume they take showers with soap and hot water in Israel if they have top notch universities. That stands to reason if they had the chutzpah to build a wall around their country and several kibbutzes, a solid military, and a sound infrastructure within.
They Are Not Alone
Judaism isn’t the only religion that practices circumcision, unfortunately. It’s also common in Islam. I don’t think the readers need me to remind them how the American media paints Muslims as savages. Circumcision is practiced neither in Japan, France, Scandinavia, nor anywhere else in Northern Europe. Those countries have some of the lowest rates of cervical cancer in the world which means there’s other preventative methods. That article my mother sent me I didn’t bother reading once I discovered the author was a woman. Call me sexist or insensitive, but I don’t need someone femsplaining or jewsplaining to me what’s best for my dong. That’s tantamount to those dry old men in Congress regulating women’s bodies as I stated in the first paragraph. If it’s her body her choice, the same should apply to men. That’s my rationale. What’s good for the goose is great for the gander. No, I will not STFU about this, either. I’m going to sing like Freddy Mercury giving his finest performance and ruffle as many feathers as Colonel Sanders if that’s what it takes to get my point across.
Another Form of Body Shaming
Indeed there’s a condition called phimosis where the foreskin doesn’t retract. That’s not abnormal during the first two to six years of a child’s life. It’s nothing soap and hot water can’t fix when it comes to penile hygiene. You can even use Q-tips and rubbing alcohol. The only time it should be an issue is once the boy reaches puberty. It can still be rinsed out with water if urine can come out of his willy unfiltered. There’s also paraphimosis where the foreskin becomes swollen and stuck. That’s the only time alarm bells should go off. It’s my understanding there are other treatments for this. I have an Irish friend who was born intact but had to be circumcised as a teenager when he developed this condition. That procedure was done as a last resort when the doctors didn’t know what else to do. Unbeknownst to the naysayers, these cases are quite rare. The odds of that happening are infinitesimal at most.
Try These On For Size
You can’t get appendicitis if you don’t have an appendix, but I don’t see anyone performing appendectomies on newborn infants arbitrarily. Just because we can live without our appendixes doesn’t it mean they don’t serve a function like the foreskin. The appendix is there to protect good bacteria and burn extra fibers in food. We don’t require it as much as our ancestors because they didn’t know how to cook. Everything they ate was raw. The foreskin is there to keep the glans moist and protect it from friction. Smegma acts as a natural lubricant during sexual intercourse. I had this conversation with one woman in Austin who liked to get around. She explained the difference between a guy who’s cut and one who’s intact. She elucidated that her uncut partner felt better like a well-lubed piston in lieu of a broomstick jammed up her bajingo which which necessitated the use of K-Y jelly. All the reason more circumcision should be outlawed.
We Don’t Need No Explanation
Nothing anyone says can convince me otherwise. Heck, why not continue the practice to protect our children and then do the appendectomies? Next we can yank all their teeth out with pliers. That’s what they did back in the ‘good old days’ during the earlier part of the 20th century. We can replace their teeth with dentures. That way they can’t get tooth decay or cavities, and we can save a killing never having to take them to the dentist or the orthodontist to get braces. We can yank out their toenails and fingernails so children don’t bite them and save time and money not having to clip them. Better yet we can chop all their fingers off so children can’t slam them in doors by accident. Perhaps we should slice every woman’s tits off who supports circumcision once she turns 40 and see how she likes it. That way she can’t get breast cancer. It’s not like she needs her mammary glands once she’s past her childbearing years. While we’re at it, we should give our autistic and special needs children lobotomies, put them away in institutions, and throw away the key. That way the rest of society can go on with their guilt-free lives and never worry whether those children live or die since nobody gives a toss about mental health. We can spare everyone the inconvenience and indignity of tolerance and understanding. Lastly, we can euthanize everybody in America once they turn 65 to circumvent ageism in a society whose media worships youth. That way we can balance the federal budget not having to pay into social security and even pay off the national debt sooner. It’s not like most old folks aren’t over the hill or as productive as they were when they were younger. That’s the whole point. Whatever rubbish the advocates use to justify circumcision are just as asinine to me as the rest I just mentioned. We would all be born intact if God wanted us cut. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
We Don’t Need No Thought Control
The good news is there are ways to restore one’s foreskin though it’s a long and arduous process. I began this after I moved to Thailand. I haven’t been consistent, but I’m told that it can be done within two to three years through hard work and dedication. I discovered Wayne Griffiths – the father of modern restoration – when I did my research. There’s all sorts of methods such as manual tugging, foreballs, TLC tuggers, and O-rings. If it were up to me, they’d teach these to young boys who’ve been cut so they can be intact by the time they reach puberty or adulthood and have satisfactory sex lives. That was the original reason we started circumcision in America. The powers that be decided men who were cut were less inclined to cheat. Now in hindsight, we know that urban legend is as ridiculous as the one stating chronic masturbation will make us blind. It’s nothing more than false rhetoric and propaganda used as a fear tactic and another form of thought control. Alas, I’m pleased to say Iceland has outlawed circumcision. Hopefully, the other 195 countries will follow suit. If it were up to me, not only would circumcision be illegal; each parent who authorized it would be charged with criminal negligence and child abuse as would each doctor, and the practitioner would lose his/her license and serve time along with the parent. Lastly, each party and the hospitals would be slapped with hefty fines.