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What’s in my Water

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Speak Your Mind, Dude

Often I find myself in a pickle after saying things that don’t win over others. There was a time when I’d feel icky about it but not so much anymore. I’m a straight-shooter who tells it like it is. It’s not my problem if others don’t like when I speak the unadulterated truth. I was once offended by a comment my mother made regarding Donald Trump sounding like someone with Asperger’s during the 2016 campaign. Now I knew what she meant. She inferred Covfefe blurts out his mind and doesn’t use his filter. That’s the only trait Trump and I have in common other than we’re cisgendered white males with arms and legs. I’m not a pathological liar. Everything I say is true to the best of my knowledge. I tell white lies and half-truths only when needed. I’m more articulate than 45 on my worst day than he’ll ever be on his best day. I’m more modest, and I don’t need to showcase my intellect and whatnot so others will stroke my ego. I’m secure enough in who I am that I don’t need to be the center of attention.

Ignore the Naysayers

What others think I stopped caring after moving to Thailand in spring 2015. Thus, I ascertained the less you worry how others perceive you, the higher their opinions of you. The whole process is counterintuitive. Around the time I moved to District One in Ho Chi Minh City during fall 2017, it came around full swing. There will always be someone offended in today’s society where everything must be politically correct and half the population is glued to social media. If I said the sky is blue, someone will get their undies in a wad because I didn’t confirm it’s black at night or gray on a cloudy day. Somebody will fly off the handle if I asserted apples are red and overlooked that some are green while others are gold. Another snowflake will blow a gasket if I declared glass is clear and ignored the that some is frosted while other panes are stained. Nothing I do or say will ever suffice with the naysayers. I’ve trained myself to either ignore them or shut them down. I’ll do and say whatever I want whenever, wherever, and however I want with or without their permission. I don’t owe those people anything. It’s not my responsibility to ensure their happiness. If they’re displeased with their lives, that’s on them. My freedom doesn’t end where their feelings begin, and emotions don’t outweigh tangible facts. The only satisfactions for which I’m culpable outside my own, and that of my family and friends are my clients’. I’m only a teacher at work. You can’t save everybody. Gaining 100-percent approval is like nailing jello to a wall. That’s one reason I no longer live in the Far East. Everything there is about keeping face which isn’t part of my compendium. To their credit, one thing I do like about living overseas is I don’t have to watch what I say day in night worrying about who I’ll offend. The locals in lesser developed countries have bigger and more important things to worry about like poverty and corruption.

Emotional Hemophiliacs

My blog arguing against circumcision didn’t win everyone’s blessing, and I don’t care. I was accused of misogyny and anti-Semitism. Just because I’m an intactivist and anti-Zionist doesn’t make me a bigot. Most critics will only hear what they want to, anyway. Those folks I call ’emotional hemophiliacs’ courtesy of my good friend, Kallum. I knew what they were doing though they agreed with me. Their intentions were good but short-sighted. They were ignoring the original theme and cherry-picking what I said. They then tried using those talking points as ammunition to gloss over the issue and discredit me. I’m not going to apologize. If they don’t like it, they can go stuff themselves. I’ll admit sometimes I stir things up to invoke emotional responses and get my point across. One part I had to edit out is when I said maybe we should legalize date rape if we continue male infant circumcision. Why not? After all, date rape victims don’t remember the event half the time. Therefore, so it must be okay. That’s what roofies do. They cause memory loss and disorientation making it harder for victims to remember the events and/or identify the perpetrators. Before anyone goes ballistic and starts salivating like Pavlov’s dog, I’m not a rape apologist. I’m just making a point. I stand by my original statement that circumcision is child sexual abuse and should be taken seriously like rape or incest. I trust rabbis and imams to make decisions about our genitals as much as I do CEO’s governing the country or wife beaters managing women’s shelters. One would hope we all know what happens whenever we allow religious leaders near little boy’s knobs after those scandals with the Catholic church.

See Through the Smokescreen

If I am a racist, I must be one self-loathing one after living in Southeast Asia and Latin America the past four years. I don’t suppose it would help if I explained 99-percent of all locals in Thailand and Vietnam where I lived have yellow skin or the vast majority of folks in Mexico where I am now have brown epidermises. The same applies to my students whom I teach online in East Asia, the Middle East, Latin America, and Africa. This is why I’m not as liberal as I once was when I lived in Austin. Every third person there is a blue-blooded SJW with a savior complex and an Oxford dictionary handy. I also lived in San Francisco for two years, so this ain’t my first rodeo. Those bleeding-hearted elitists who act like martyrs are the same folks who gentrified East Austin where the black and Hispanic people once lived. They claimed they were making it trendy, but I know better. Has anyone noticed none of those Hollywood heavyweights during the Occupy Wall Street movement in 2011 bothered to march with the crowd except Anne Hathaway? Gee, I wonder why! Could it be because they were part of the one-percent? Every time Bono, Sean Penn, Matt Damon, Natalie Portman, and company fly around on their private planes to sprinkle their fairy dust all over some social cause, they pollute the environment. Harrison Ford – the highest paid actor of all time – had the audacity to get on stage and lecture people about climate change. Just what I need is some washed out celebrity who spent his entire youth leaving the average carbon footprint of a thousand people combined telling me how to live. I’ll take them seriously when they cut down on consumption and live more modest lifestyles themselves.

Invasion of the Bagel Chompers

This is one of the main reasons Donald Trump got elected. People get fed up with the far left and their self-righteousness. They didn’t appreciate East Coast highbrows I call ‘bagel chompers’ riding around on their high horses talking down to working class people referring to them as ‘undesirables.’ Don’t get me wrong! I voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 primary and the general election. I did the same for Barack Obama in 2008 and picked him again in 2012. But just because I’ve voted straight-ticket Democrat in every midterm and general election since 2004 doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to what’s going on. People went with Trump because he gave them a sales pitch and championed himself as an outsider. We don’t always make the most rational decisions when we’re angry and frustrated. Everyone like yours truly felt locked out from that American dream they were promised. You can dismiss this as another rant by an angry white male, but the facts speak for themselves. I’m planning to move to South America should Trump get reelected in 2020. I have one of the most recession-proof jobs there is. There will always be a demand for English teachers no matter the status of the economy. My work is mobile meaning I can live anywhere. English will be the international language for the foreseeable future. My career change upon which I’m working is medical coding – another recession-proof field where I can still be a digital nomad. People will always get sick and need to go to the hospital no matter what the economic circumstance is. It won’t be me who pays the bill no pun intended; I can promise you that much.

Please Excuse My Dear Honesty

My friend Diane once asked me “What’s in your water, Dustin?” I’m not the same SJW full of spunk and vinegar she knew when we met almost a decade ago. I’m not that guy anymore. What’s happened is I’ve caught onto all the race baiters’, bra burning fembots’, and PC thought police’s ploys. My rose-colored glasses came off after I moved abroad. You see, I know how it works now though I couldn’t articulate it for the longest time. The right-wing media uses fear to gather their base. The liberals’ weapons of choice are shame and guilt. The conservatives hide under the veil of religious fervor while the lefties charade under the auspices of political correctness. I know exactly why Germany bailed out Italy, Greece, and Spain during the banking crisis of 2018 and brought in millions of Syrian refugees. The Germans still feel guilty about the holocaust. They’ve spent the past 75 years doing damage control to assuage their remorse. I remember a German lady named Kerstin on Facebook and I getting into a heated argument about Israel. I’m supposed to feel so horrible whenever I voice how the Jews are doing the same thing to the Palestinians that the Germans once did during the holocaust. Oh, but that’s different because they’re God’s chosen people! I’m supposed to cry them a river and call them a wambulance because of something in the past that can’t be changed. Nothing they do should ever be questioned or debated including circumcision. Anyone who disagrees with the loony lefties gets branded with every other buzzword with the suffix “-ist.” I’m sorry, Kerstin! You’ll have to forgive my honesty. It gets the best of me every time.

Natural and Unnatural Predators

Malcolm X used an excellent analogy when he described the loony lefties and tighty righties as I call them. The alt-right are like wolves whilst the far left are like foxes. Wolves are aggressive animals that hunt in packs. They’ll ravage anything that gets in their way. The fox is sly and sneaky. It has different mannerisms than the wolf, but it shares the same appetite. They both want lamp chops for dinner. Both are predators though the fox masquerades as its prey’s best friend. Either side wants to silence the opposition and censor what we think and say. But it’s only thought control whenever the other side does it. What’s happened is I’ve figured out how to trap foxes. I can spot them a mile away now. It’s not half as difficult as hunting a wolf. I know Bernie Sanders is a fox. What he says makes perfect sense to the lefties. I agree with most of his philosophies. However, I blame half this debacle on him. Bernie Sanders is not presidential material. He may be a smooth talker, but 90-percent of what Bernie proposes would never pass through Congress. That man has been on the hill over thirty years and hasn’t done jack. He even voted against the Brady Bill.

Make Your Stand

The fox, like Bernie Sanders, doesn’t play well with others. The wolf is a more dangerous predator than the fox. Everyone knows a fox is no match for a wolf. The latter will rip the former to shreds in no time. This is what concerns me about the next election. I fear the liberals will be too busy trying to hang each other like they did Al Franken and the nominee will be too weak to stand against Trump. I don’t know if anyone is aware, but he’ll be harder to defeat now that Trump is an incumbent. I find it interesting how Bernie Sanders was once an independent but run as a Democrat whenever it was convenient. Then his followers gut butthurt and opted to stay home on Election Night or vote third party out of spite thereby giving us the worst president in history. All of this because Bernie couldn’t put his ego aside, drop out of the race, and endorse Hillary. He could have been a hero and saved the day, but everything was all about him. Bernie Sanders to me is another bagel chomper who pretends he’s some messiah when he’s nothing more than a liability. The loony lefties may not be our mortal enemies, but they’re sure as hell not the heroes they claim to be. Do you really trust someone like that to protect us against a threat like Vladimir Putin? They’ll tuck tail and run for the hills like the fox always does whenever it’s met its match. To to answer your question, Diane, that’s what’s in my water.

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Leave Our Knobs Alone

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An Act of Barbarism

There’s a common practice in America I find barbaric and should be outlawed. I don’t mean privatized prisons or our lack of universal healthcare both of which I share the same sentiment. I’m not talking about capital punishment the latter of which I have mixed feelings. I’m not referring to burning fossil fuels, burying waste in landfills, or mass consumption which I find repulsive. I’m speaking of circumcision. It’s beyond me why this is still a topic of debate. Unsurprisingly, most people I’ve known who condone this vile act other than Jews are second wave feminists. Thus, I call them out on their hypocrisy. If they’re going to get preachy about abortion and women’s rights, the least they can do is respect those of males. What makes you think I like some ninny femsplaining to me what she thinks is best for my genitals if she doesn’t like guys mansplaining to her what’s good for her uterus? America is one of the few developed countries left that advocates this debauchery.

Don’t Believe the Hype

The liberal media loves preaching how horrible date rape is and going on diatribes regarding rape culture, campus rape, and statutory rape. They like shaming us about consent trying to convince us there’s a sexual assailant on every street corner. They had a field day regarding the child abuse scandal with the Catholic church and whatnot. Nobody on the left held any punches against Jeffrey Epstein or Donald Trump about the child sex trafficking. They only defended Bill Clinton saying he was just a passenger on the plain. What about those infant boys? Did they get a say in whether or not they were snipped? Why has that never dominated the headlines? I remember seeing an expose about female genital mutilation in Egypt when I was 13. Little boys have their foreskin cut, and nobody panics. Adults remove female infant clitorises, and everyone goes ballistic. My mother, who had me cut when I was a baby, and I have had heated debates over this. She tried arguing they use glass and rusty metal to do the procedure on girls. What makes her or anybody else think they don’t do the same to boys?

To Cut or Not to Cut

She’s not the only one. Her generation was sold the idea that it was more hygienic and the right thing to do. Every myth about male infant circumcision preventing urinary tract infections and STD’s has been debunked. Sadly, there’s idiots out there who still believe them just as there are those convinced vaccines cause autism despite the overwhelming evidence disproving that. Little do they know, the doctors who sold them that hogwash were receiving massive kickbacks from the hospital to perform circumcisions. Of course they’re going to say that when there’s some financial gain for them. I wouldn’t be surprised if one guilt-shamed my mother into having me cut. If those were true, Africa and the Middle East wouldn’t have higher rates of AIDS and other urological ailments. My mother acknowledges this, but she tried using a strawman argument stating women with circumcised partners have lower rates of cervical cancer. That’s what pap smears and HPV vaccines are for, my dear readers. That’s why they have condoms, IUD’s, diaphragms, and such. Women who sleep around and have multiple partners are at higher risk, but I don’t see anyone shaming them into monogamy. No, now we encourage Western women to brag about it and have annual SlutWalks. For every point the advocates use, I have a counterpoint to debunk it. If preaching abstinence-only is ineffective towards teenagers with raging hormones, I’d say it’s a safe bet trying to assure me circumcision is benevolent is fruitless.

It Israeli Not Necessary

Yes, I know most Jewish men are circumcised. Most Jewish men also don’t practice kosher or wear yarmulkes. I was an anthropology minor in college. Some Jewish woman tried claiming the Torah requires it. I’ll tell you what, lady. When every Jewish man practices kosher, has an unshorn beard, wears all black, and dons a yarmulke or black hat, then you can get back to me. When Israel discontinues its aggression towards Palestine and stops playing the holocaust card to justify the means, then we can discuss halakha. Do you really want me to go there? Mel Gibson wasn’t off the mark during his drunken stupor. I’m not condoning his behavior or saying he wasn’t out of line, but his statement wasn’t inaccurate. More than half of the turmoil in the Middle East is because of Israel. The United States government throws $10 billion a year towards Israel who has universal healthcare and free post-secondary education. Meanwhile, we can’t afford to feed the poor, shelter the homeless, or provide medicare, but that’s another story. The Torah also forbids homosexuality. Man-on-man relations are subjectable to death. There have been rabbis in Israel wanting to impose capital punishment for that, yet Tel Aviv has one of the largest gay populations in the world. I’ll bet that Jewish lady didn’t think I knew that, either. Nice try, woman, but it won’t stick. I don’t place much credence into religious law.

It Israeli That Simple

The reason nobody discusses how inhumane male circumcision is or all the heinous things caused by Israel is because Jews own most of the American media. Anyone who speaks up about these gets branded as anti-Semitic. That explains why Mel Gibson was Hollywood blacklisted. If the Jews have enough brain cells to speak English, Hebrew, and Yiddish fluently; practice kosher, study economics, handle finances, manage their money, make investments, run petty scams and ponzi schemes, hide their shady business practices, avoid detection by the IRS and Better Business Bureau, write screenplays, produce and direct movies; win Pulitzer Prizes, Nobel Prizes, and Academy Awards; plan bar and bat mitzvahs, train the Mossad, hunt down war criminals, conceal their own war crimes, invent krav maga (the world’s deadliest martial art) and the uzi, construct synagogues, build scud missiles and laser-guided keyboards, live autonomously, and light up menorahs during Hanukkah, there’s no reason they shouldn’t know how to wash out their schmeckels. That’s as easy as spinning a dreidel. They’re not animals though they sure act like it by the way they treat the Palestinians. I presume they take showers with soap and hot water in Israel if they have top notch universities. That stands to reason if they had the chutzpah to build a wall around their country and several kibbutzes, a solid military, and a sound infrastructure within.

They Are Not Alone

Judaism isn’t the only religion that practices circumcision, unfortunately. It’s also common in Islam. I don’t think the readers need me to remind them how the American media paints Muslims as savages. Circumcision is practiced neither in Japan, France, Scandinavia, nor anywhere else in Northern Europe. Those countries have some of the lowest rates of cervical cancer in the world which means there’s other preventative methods. That article my mother sent me I didn’t bother reading once I discovered the author was a woman. Call me sexist or insensitive, but I don’t need someone femsplaining or jewsplaining to me what’s best for my dong. That’s tantamount to those dry old men in Congress regulating women’s bodies as I stated in the first paragraph. If it’s her body her choice, the same should apply to men. That’s my rationale. What’s good for the goose is great for the gander. No, I will not STFU about this, either. I’m going to sing like Freddy Mercury giving his finest performance and ruffle as many feathers as Colonel Sanders if that’s what it takes to get my point across.

Another Form of Body Shaming

Indeed there’s a condition called phimosis where the foreskin doesn’t retract. That’s not abnormal during the first two to six years of a child’s life. It’s nothing soap and hot water can’t fix when it comes to penile hygiene. You can even use Q-tips and rubbing alcohol. The only time it should be an issue is once the boy reaches puberty. It can still be rinsed out with water if urine can come out of his willy unfiltered. There’s also paraphimosis where the foreskin becomes swollen and stuck. That’s the only time alarm bells should go off. It’s my understanding there are other treatments for this. I have an Irish friend who was born intact but had to be circumcised as a teenager when he developed this condition. That procedure was done as a last resort when the doctors didn’t know what else to do. Unbeknownst to the naysayers, these cases are quite rare. The odds of that happening are infinitesimal at most.

Try These On For Size

You can’t get appendicitis if you don’t have an appendix, but I don’t see anyone performing appendectomies on newborn infants arbitrarily. Just because we can live without our appendixes doesn’t it mean they don’t serve a function like the foreskin. The appendix is there to protect good bacteria and burn extra fibers in food. We don’t require it as much as our ancestors because they didn’t know how to cook. Everything they ate was raw. The foreskin is there to keep the glans moist and protect it from friction. Smegma acts as a natural lubricant during sexual intercourse. I had this conversation with one woman in Austin who liked to get around. She explained the difference between a guy who’s cut and one who’s intact. She elucidated that her uncut partner felt better like a well-lubed piston in lieu of a broomstick jammed up her bajingo which which necessitated the use of K-Y jelly. All the reason more circumcision should be outlawed.

We Don’t Need No Explanation

Nothing anyone says can convince me otherwise. Heck, why not continue the practice to protect our children and then do the appendectomies? Next we can yank all their teeth out with pliers. That’s what they did back in the ‘good old days’ during the earlier part of the 20th century. We can replace their teeth with dentures. That way they can’t get tooth decay or cavities, and we can save a killing never having to take them to the dentist or the orthodontist to get braces. We can yank out their toenails and fingernails so children don’t bite them and save time and money not having to clip them. Better yet we can chop all their fingers off so children can’t slam them in doors by accident. Perhaps we should slice every woman’s tits off who supports circumcision once she turns 40 and see how she likes it. That way she can’t get breast cancer. It’s not like she needs her mammary glands once she’s past her childbearing years. While we’re at it, we should give our autistic and special needs children lobotomies, put them away in institutions, and throw away the key. That way the rest of society can go on with their guilt-free lives and never worry whether those children live or die since nobody gives a toss about mental health. We can spare everyone the inconvenience and indignity of tolerance and understanding. Lastly, we can euthanize everybody in America once they turn 65 to circumvent ageism in a society whose media worships youth. That way we can balance the federal budget not having to pay into social security and even pay off the national debt sooner. It’s not like most old folks aren’t over the hill or as productive as they were when they were younger. That’s the whole point. Whatever rubbish the advocates use to justify circumcision are just as asinine to me as the rest I just mentioned. We would all be born intact if God wanted us cut. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

We Don’t Need No Thought Control

The good news is there are ways to restore one’s foreskin though it’s a long and arduous process. I began this after I moved to Thailand. I haven’t been consistent, but I’m told that it can be done within two to three years through hard work and dedication. I discovered Wayne Griffiths – the father of modern restoration – when I did my research. There’s all sorts of methods such as manual tugging, foreballs, TLC tuggers, and O-rings. If it were up to me, they’d teach these to young boys who’ve been cut so they can be intact by the time they reach puberty or adulthood and have satisfactory sex lives. That was the original reason we started circumcision in America. The powers that be decided men who were cut were less inclined to cheat. Now in hindsight, we know that urban legend is as ridiculous as the one stating chronic masturbation will make us blind. It’s nothing more than false rhetoric and propaganda used as a fear tactic and another form of thought control. Alas, I’m pleased to say Iceland has outlawed circumcision. Hopefully, the other 195 countries will follow suit. If it were up to me, not only would circumcision be illegal; each parent who authorized it would be charged with criminal negligence and child abuse as would each doctor, and the practitioner would lose his/her license and serve time along with the parent. Lastly, each party and the hospitals would be slapped with hefty fines.

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Big Boys Don’t Cry

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Lebron James Crying

No More Gutterballs, Grandpa

When I was 9 or 10, my maternal grandma and his second wife came to visit us in Houston from Missouri. They took us bowling two days in a row. That was one of their favorite activities. We’d go to their local bowling alley whenever we’d to see them. There wasn’t much else in the Ozarks to keep us occupied. Often I’d get frustrated and cry because I wasn’t performing well. I was only a child who didn’t know better. All I wanted was to make strikes and spares. The frequent gutterballs took their toll on my pride. Grandpa would always scold me for my outbursts. Crying was forbidden under his watch. I remember the last time like yesterday. I was about to have a meltdown when I noticed Grandpa staring at me and shaking his finger.

Avenge Me, Boys

The point I’m making is we live in a society where it’s not acceptable for boys or men to express their emotions in any way, shape, or form. A prime example comes from the 1984 classic Red Dawn. That movie is about a backdoor Soviet invasion of the United States. A group of teenage rebels led by Patrick Swayze called The Wolverines after their school mascot fight back. Swayze and his younger brother played by Charlie Sheen encounter their POW father portrayed by Harry Dean Stanton opposite a chain-linked fence. They know he’s about to die. Stanton tells his sons he was tough on them for a reason and orders them not to cry. The character implies they’ve gone soft for exhibiting emotions. One of the last things he says before they leave is, “Boys, avenge me!” In other words, the only things they were allowed to feel were anger and rage. Remorse and sorrow were verboten. I’m not reviled by the disposition of Stanton or my granddad. I chalk it up as them being relics of their time from a different generation where men were expected to be Alpha males and toxic masculinity was unheard of.

Nice Guys Pay; Bad Boys Lay

Much of this sentiment surrounded me every day I was in military school and the Coast Guard. I’m not a big fan of third and fourth wave feminists. Some of their ideas I find a bit extreme, but I agree with them upon the fact that toxic masculinity must be addressed head on. It’s detrimental in the long run. This I surmise is why there’s more male sociopaths and hardened criminals than female ones. There’s too much of it in professional sports as well in my humble opinion. America has become a society where the dating culture has told us nice guys who show compassion are weak while bad boys who display aggression are strong, dominant, and what women want. Sensitivity and social awkwardness equal creepiness whereas cockiness and brash behavior equate to confidence the latter of which makes the ladies drool and cream. Too often I see this has seeped its way into the dating culture. Everywhere I look without fail, dating gurus male and female say nice guys finish last while bad boys win the girls. By the time the girls catch on and realize bad boys are harmful, it’s too late. We’re told they’ve hit the wall and are no longer marketable. I’ve grown so cynical; I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Suck it Up, Buttercup

The media makes it seem like we can control our emotions 24/7 like Vulcans. The human race hasn’t evolved to that point. It was no secret I was suffering from anxiety and depression in the military. I didn’t get sentimental, but it made me bitter and harbor loads of resentment. I stated in my last note why I hate everything about the East Coast of the United States and the military. Doing everything the exact opposite of how I was trained in the services like wearing the complimentary colors, starting off with the other foot, hanging and folding my clothes the other direction, growing facial hair, and living in other countries the GOP demonizes were my coping mechanism from the trauma. I’m not allowed to discuss my feelings because nobody wants to hear it. Everyone thinks you can snap out of depression which is anything but true. To forgive and forget is easier said than done. The first part I might be attainable, but I can’t envision myself ever doing the latter. Once trust is lost, it’s almost impossible to gain back.

Explore Your Sentiments

One stereotype about Asperger’s especially males is that we don’t feel empathy or exhibit emotions. This is one of the primary reasons we’re mistaken for sociopaths. We’re not allowed to show it because that’s what the media has told us. All I’m allowed to exude is anger or joy not fear, guilt, or sadness. Last year, I remember watching Interstellar on Netflix. It’s about a farmer turned astronaut played by Matthew McConaughey who travels into space to find a planet to terraform as Earth becomes uninhabitable. Anne Hathaway plays his co-pilot and one of three scientists. Before the mission, McConaughey achieves the insurmountable task of saying goodbye to his children. He mentions to his daughter they may be the same age when he returns. The viewer disregards this in the beginning, but then it starts to catch on. There’s a scene where McConaughey retrieves his daughter’s messages on the intercom. Later you see she’s grown up. His adult daughter, played by Jessica Chastain, gives him the rundown over what happened over the years. That scene broke me in two. I couldn’t help myself because it hit too close to home. It made me reflect on my own life.

Family is All in the End

One of my biggest regrets is not spending more time with my niece and nephew between the time I left Thailand and went home before my next assignment in Vietnam in spring 2016. I’d been gone and hadn’t seen my family in person for two years while watching Interstellar. The background music compounded the situation. Luckily, it was in the privacy of my own home. I would’ve been embarrassed had I let it out in public. I went into the bathroom and took a shower to cleanse myself afterwards. I could count on one hand the time number of times I conversed with my family via Skype and Facebook not including when we spent Christmas together online. My niece, who was in elementary school last time I’d seen her, was now the same age as my middle school students. It still bothered me the next day at work, and my coworkers asked if I was okay. I was going to travel to Australia with a friend during the summer of 2018, but I cancelled those plans. Not only was I low on funds, I feared I would never to get to see my family again. I can always venture to Australia or wherever later on, but only get to see the kids grow up once.

Beard Away the Sorrow, Hair’s a Tissue

I don’t know if anyone else notices, but you almost never see a man with a beard or facial hair get upset and break down on screen. It’s as if Hollywood and society have told us it’s even less forgivable if a bearded man exhibits emotion. They’ve placed a higher standard on him than his hairless counterpart. He’s supposed to be strong and dominant and show zero weakness. The only time he may get a free pass is if someone in his immediate family dies. I mentioned before I never grew a beard until after I moved abroad, but luckily I was clean-shaven when I watched Interstellar. If you think long and hard enough, when was the last time you ever saw a man cry with a beard? I’ll bet the readers can only count that on one hand if not one finger. This is why I feel it’s imperative that Hollywood activists address this issue and stop dispensing the message that it’s not okay for grown men or boys to express their emotions the same way women and girls do. Ridding society of the stigma towards mental health, therapy, and the need for antidepressants and anxiety pills would be nice, moreover. If Donald Trump isn’t an expert on politics or economics, I’d say it’s a safe bet neither is Tom Cruise on behalf of psychotherapy.

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When Opposites Attract

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Redder is Better than Ever

Not long ago, a women at the l corner store asked me in Spanish if I like the color red. The shorts, sneakers, and hooded sweatshirts I I was a donning were all red. There are myriad reasons I prefer it one of which I gave her. My Spanish isn’t that great so I used Google Translate on my smartphone. I could have told her I like red because it’s a conspicuous color that enhances one’s appeal towards the opposite sex, but I opted not to. I may have elucidated I’m tired of being ignored feeling invisible, and red is the most likely color to make people notice you. I didn’t do that, nor did I expound how it makes me feel bold and confident. The answer I gave is because I hate the military, and red is the exact opposite color of green which is what the Army uses. I elaborated how I like orange because it’s the antithesis of blue by which the Navy and Coast Guard are represented.

Their Promises are Lies

This became my modus operandi after being diagosed with PTSD and having my claim for such shot down by the VA in the spring of 2015. My representative whose name I won’t mention gave me false hope the same way the Coast Guard did. He’d blow smoke telling me my story was convincing and cajoled me into doing questionable things to make it work. What he asked me to do was extralegal for a lack of better words, but I don’t care to get into that. The point is my advocate was no better than the armed forces and the military academy I attended in that he did nothing more than overpromise. Those things for which I hoped caused me nothing but heartache. The VA I suspect denied the claim because my circumstance wasn’t combat-related. Their rationale is it must not be real if if you weren’t pounding sand in Iraq or Afghanistan and didn’t see anyone blown to smithereens.

No Brotherly Love from Philadelphia

My dad sent me to Valley Forge Military Academy outside Philadelphia when I was 15. This was long before I was diagnosed with Asperger’s. My mother I was unable to live with at the time for personal reasons. My father was in denial there was anything amiss about his son. He’ll never admit he made a mistake placing me in the public school system in Long Island where there was relentless bullying. We checked out a school in Vermont for troubled kids during our quest. That’s where my father should have sent met, but he decided in his that wasn’t the right place for me. Valley Forge likes to champion itself as a prestigious institute. I’m sure my dad would say the same. Apparently, I was supposed to be impressed because the movie Taps was filmed there, and Norman Schwartzkopf was an alumnus. Knowing my dad, I surmise the real reason he sent me there was because he didn’t want to deal with me anymore. We would often remind me of the tuition because that made it easier on his conscience.

Oh No! Not Again, Please!

My tactical officers and the other personnel would browbeat me each day. Yes, I know what some readers are already thinking. Welcome to the military! Stop typing and listen! Some get it worse than others. No matter how hard I tried fitting in, nothing I did or said was good enough. Nobody spelled it out, but the adults in a roundabout way told me I was a slacker who could never do anything right. There was blatant favoritism everywhere I looked. The powers that be and my own father would look the other way when I was bullied by my peers as if I deserved it. They liked to blame the victim to alleviate any culpability. Their whole objective was to pound a square peg into a round hole. I asked to withdraw the first spring I was there, but my father refused. Not only that, but he registered me for a second year to dump his responsibilities on someone else. I wanted to be expelled, but I had nowhere to turn. At least that’s what I thought. I even pondered asking to be barred from re-enrollment, but the school counselor suggested that might look bad on my transcript. Eventually, my dad got the message and didn’t sign me up a third year. I even got to move back to Houston to live with my mom.

Nobody is Perfect

Many former cadets like going back there for alumni weekend the first Saturday of May but not me. It took me awhile to get over my bad experiences. I smoked my first joint with my brother’s friend after my return to Texas. None of my former classmates know I burned my yearbooks three years later while I dropped some acid. One of my clearest memories of Valley Forge was when one of the class advisers asked me what medication I was taking. Because I was supposed to respect the officer, I divulged that information though it was none of his business. He asked why I was there in the first place. Many times I’ve rehashed that conversation regarding what I would tell him now. My response would be, “Because my father wants what everyone else in this room does – a perfect child who never makes mistakes or asks questions and always obeys. He wants another cog in a wheel.”

Uncle Sam’s Confused Group

That sums up the military down to a T if you ask me. One of my biggest regrets ever was signing up for the United States Coast Guard. I was more or less forced to join when my mother threatened to cut me off otherwise. Her boss’s son was in the Coast Guard then. Therefore, my mom became an expert in the armed forces and deemed that wise. I was flunking out of college, so I understand her rationale. The part most disconcerting was when she instructed me to lie about having Asperger’s to the recruiter. She would justify it saying there were probably other people with undiagnosed Asperger’s in the military as this had reached the mainstream just three years prior. Both my parents knew an awful lot about military life for people who never served. My dad weaseled his way out of the Air Force during the Vietnam War. My mother, whose father was in the Army during World War II, thought it’d be good for me while she moved to Boston to start over. No matter how much I loathed my it and told her that, Mom’s response was “Just suck it up and deal with it.” Then she’d turn around and toot her trumpet to the whole neighborhood how fabulous she was because her son was serving his country after 9/11.

Not this Way, That Way

I don’t know if Mom regrets talking me into it, and I don’t care. She likes to remind me that I signed the papers. The Coast Guard and others would do the same thing. The military always finds a way to justify the means while railroading people. It wouldn’t do me any good to explain it to a veteran or a lifer. All they’ll do is guilt shame me stating there are troops coming home in coffins missing limbs or compare me to medal of honor recipients. Now I’m a disgrace to my country because I couldn’t hack it. Originally, I wanted to join the Marine Corps, but one of my professors talked me out of that. He made the right call. Mom tried to convince me the Air Force was a bad idea because I had Asperger’s, yet somehow the Coast Guard was better. The real reason I did the latter was because I knew America was going to war the moment George W. Bush stole the 2000 election. I was convinced even before 9/11. I saw that coming a mile away. I know the Bush family and the Republican Party not personally but I’m quite familiar with their politics. Most people think the Coast Guard has the easiest job because it’s the least offensive branch of the military. Little do the know, it’s also is the most active and has the highest suicide rate. They trained us for things that will happen not ones that might unlike the others.

Bon Voyage, Northland!

The eleven months I spent on the USCGC Northland were the longest of my entire life. Every waking moment, I was bullied and ostracized by my peers. My superiors gave me the most work and used me as the go-to guy while others got away with murder. They’d tell everyone I was stupid, that I was gay, that I was incompetent, and the whole shebang. Nothing I did or said would ever make them accept me or dissolve that black cloud over my head. The Coast Guard would do the same thing Valley Forge would which is gaslighting. Not only would they try to make me question my own sanity thinking I was going crazy. They tried to assure me there was nowhere else to go. A lot of abusive partners do this in marriages. I saw Gene Simmons do that to Shannon Tweed. He tried persuading her there was no other way but his, and her life would fall to pieces if she left him. If I couldn’t make it in the Coast Guard or Valley Forge, I would be a failure the rest of my life.

All Hat and No Cattle

The military likes to showcase itself as the only option the same way each organized religion claims to be the only path into heaven. It’s a form of mind control to subjugate people. Eventually, I faked my way out of the Coast Guard when they pulled the rug out from me the last time. My mother assisted me in that process. I don’t know if she did that to make amends for making me lie to get in three years prior, but she told me she was impressed in that I lasted longer than she thought I would. They thought they could break my will and force me out in under a year, but it took them three. That’s why I say everyone who’s bet against me in my life has lost (including the Coast Guard.) My second year at Valley Forge, my tactical officer whom I’ll call Colonel Briggs tried to promise me I wouldn’t last until the rest of the year. If only he hadn’t left in January, I would have loved to have rubbed it in his face that I lasted that long.

Dynasty is Falling

Because of my past circumstances, I despise every sports team from the East Coast and the South as that’s where the majority of my provocateurs and their favorite clubs were from. I loathe every franchise from Boston in particular because many were from that area. Watching the New England Patriots win a Super Bowl would only set me off. That’s why I love reminding Pats fans of that season they went undefeated and lost the New York Giants in the Super Bowl. That’s the only time I recall cheering for the latter. Sometimes I’d remind them of Spygate just to heckle them further. I live for the day Tom Brady retires and the Patriots’ dynasty falls. I enjoyed every waking moment when my Houston Astros eliminated the Boston Red Sox from the 2017 MLB playoffs before winning their first World Series title ever. Seeing the ‘Stros knock out the Yankees from the ALCS was even more fun.

Anywhere But There

After living in Long Island where I was an outcast and serving in the military, the only good memory I have of New York is the thin-crust pizza. That accent makes my skin crawl every time I hear it because my mind subconsciously associates it with vitriol and hostility. The same is true about Boston, Philadelphia, and the rest of those locales. The only time I cheered for the Red Sox was in 2013 after the Boston Marathon Bombing. I showed what little empathy I had left for that place because innocent people were killed. My experiences in military school and the Coast Guard turned me off from living anywhere on the entire eastern seaboard or the South again permanently. I can promise you this much. I’ll never live anywhere east of the Mississippi River should I ever return to the United States. That’s a big if whether or not I come back, and that won’t be until long after Trumpelstiltskin leaves the White House. They didn’t push me forward, but they damn sure drove me away. I’m surprised Valley Forge never had a class action civil lawsuit filed against them from the hazing. When I reconnected with some of old classmates a few years ago, they seemed so appalled hearing that from me like they didn’t see it coming.

Good Morning, Vietnam! Good Night, Saigon!

Without further ado, I’ve never stepped foot near another boat or ship since my departure from the Coast Guard in 2004. The only military base I’ve gone near was Camp Mabry in Austin where I did a one-day temp job. That last part is inevitable as it’s adjacent to a major freeway. Were it not for its proximity to Mopac, I wouldn’t be sharing that. Since the VA, Coast Guard, and Valley Forge made it clear I was just a number to them, army green and navy blue are just colors to me. If only those folks knew I didn’t become a failure or bum like they told me I’d be. The past four years I’ve been living abroad killing it as an ESL teacher. Two of them I spent in Vietnam, the one country Bone Spurs, Ted Nugent, Mitt Romney, and those other draft-dodging cowards were too chicken shit to go near. I wonder how some of my former commanding officers would respond if they knew I visited the War Remnants Museum and the Imperial Palace in Ho Chi Minh City and took pictures.

Remember, Remember in November

In every election mid-term and general since 2004, I’ve voted straight-ticket Democrat. That’s not just out of spite towards the military. My politics have always leaned towards the left. I’m not a one-issue voter to set the record straight. That the vast majority of military personnel are Republicans is happenstance. It’s too bad half of them don’t realize the GOP is using them as cannon fodder to make the fat boys fatter. I refuse to be anyone’s puppet. Living in Southern Mexico makes it more titillating knowing I’m on the other side of Trump’s proposed law. I hope and pray whoever wins the Democratic ticket in 2020 wallops Covfefe in the next election, slashes the defense budget in half, and pours it into education, healthcare, infrastructure, housing, green energy, and scientific research.

My True Colors Shining Through

Now the readers know why I like red and orange. They’re the exact opposite of army green and navy blue. Red is the color of communism while orange represents Agent Orange from the Vietnam War. Red is the color of love which heals all wounds. I start with my right foot in lieu of my left foot whenever I walk. That’s contrary to how they made us march in boot camp and military school. I hang my clothes facing to the right whenever instead of the left like they made us do in boot camp. I even do it in the opposite order. I still tie my shoes together, but I place them in my wardrobe with the toes facing in and the heels facing out rather than the other way around.

Less Than A Hairy Situation

I would have loved to grow my hair long, but I’m going bald. I shave my head because I don’t have the money yet to get a hair transplant. One day I’ll have it done in Turkey, a predominately Muslim country. Islamophobia was rampant in the military like toxic masculinity the latter of which being the genesis of my affinity towards purple. Because I’m certain many of them consider purple feminine is all the reason more for me to wear it. My thinning hair didn’t stop me from growing a beard I incorporated into my repertoire after moving abroad. I know facial hair is verboten in the military. That, my thinning hair, and the fact that it makes me look more Islamic are the catalysts behind that. To put it bluntly, I do as many things as I can the exact opposite of how the military wants. Life is too short to hold grudges, but that doesn’t stop me from doing what I want at the expense of my former oppressors.

anxiety, aspergers, autism, changes, culture, democrats, depression, education, health, ideas, philosophy, politics, psychology, republicans, travel, voting

You Pray, You Pay

white concrete building
Photo by Thiago Matos on Pexels.com

Spiritual Imbalance and Global Chaos

Most intellectuals concur there’s no place in politics for organized religion. Sadly, we face this dilemma everywhere in the United States with the church overstepping its boundaries. America isn’t the only country guilty, yet we receive the most flack out of all western nations. That’s one of the perks of being the global superpower. What amuses me is how right-wing evangelicals pontificate how they don’t want sharia law in America, yet they’ve been trying to induce it the entire time. Banning abortions and gay marriage, censoring the media, and imposing the death penalty qualify under that curtain. Just because it’s not Muslims trying to implement this doesn’t mean the same rules don’t apply. This is one of the primary reasons I no longer live in the United States. Organized religion is poison. There’s no two ways about it. The only thing thing responsible for more wars and deaths in history to my knowledge are communism and the bubonic plague.

Theocracy is Hypocrisy

Religion I suspect was introduced to control people during a time when there was no government or law enforcement. Nobody knew jack about science. This was the most plausible method they had to rationalize every day phenomena. It never occurred to them the universe is comprised of random coincidences and such. That explains why in medieval Europe they’d scare people trying to commit suicide with eternal damnation. They can’t control and persecute people if they’re dead. George Carlin made the most astute comments about religion out of any celebrity I’ve known. He noted each contradiction in every Abrahamic holy book and explained there were too many inconsistencies. I will never forget how Carlin elucidated religion makes billions of dollars annually, and it’s all tax exempt. I find it ironic how Joel Osteen lives in a million-dollar mansion but couldn’t be bothered to let people take refuge in his church when Hurricane Harvey hit.

A Non-Prophet Organization

I was pleased to read Italy began taxing churches to pay off its debt after the 2008 recession. The child molestation scandals with the Vatican and economic crises I surmise prompted Italy to drop the hammer. This enticed me to comprise a new method regarding the church. I think they should pass a law in all 196 countries requiring churches to charge goers a fee to attend their services. Before anyone laughs at my idea, ask yourselves this. Would you rather the state govern and regulate religion or do you prefer it the other way around? It’s an honest question. Most religious zealots don’t mind theocracies as long as it’s not their own spirituality challenged or questioned. I figure the government can not only implement property taxes from the churches, mosques, temples, and such. They can gain revenue from the ticket sales as well as income tax from the clergy members themselves.

Freedom Isn’t Free

Many people go to church as a means of cheap therapy. We still live in a society where it’s more frowned upon to seek professional help than attend church or do drugs. I’ve lost count of every imbecile who told me finding salvation in the church would make my woes disappear. When I was in the Coast Guard suffering from depression and separation anxiety, I was referred to a chaplain in lieu of a psychiatrist or a social worker. My company commanders thought that wise and so did I out of fear that everyone would start gaslighting me and second guess my abilities. That said, I never disclosed I have Asperger’s to any of the clergy. Not only was I certain none heard of it; I didn’t think there was anything they could do but give false hope. I didn’t trust them because I didn’t think they recognized doctor/patient confidentiality.

Benito Juarez Reloaded

Two months ago, I took a tour of Chichen Itza. I visited Izamal, the Yellow City, along the way. I learned during that trek Mexico was once governed by the Catholic church. That changed when Benito Juarez came into power. He was the first President of Mexico to recognize separation of church and state. This is all the reason more I think they should start monetizing religion the same way they do movies. Half the role of an ecclesiastic is to entertain and keep everyone engaged. Religion plays a key part in molding our values like the media. If Hollywood rakes in beaucoup bucks to give people reassurance, the same should be done with religion. We can handle Sunday afternoon services the same way the cinema does weekend matinees in that the churches can give discounts. The services can still operate 24/7 like every other business in my book. I’ll bet if the powers that implemented this system, that would cripple organized religion in a heartbeat. This is my solution towards regulating religion. Imagine how quickly that would pay off the national debt and allow Washington and states to balance the federal budget.